Saturday, 10 October 2015

Struggling Along

I've decided to just have a little chatty post today. My creativity is kind of none existent just now. I have so much going on and at the same time I feel like nothing is happening. It's an odd feeling. 

I think my problem is once I have decided something is going to happen I want it to happen now. 

If you have been reading my blog this month you will know that I am splitting up with my husband, and one of the things we need to do is sell our house. Now I'm pretty sure he would just plod along, no hurry to get it sold, me on the other hand wants it gone now. 

I guess I have just decided I can't really move on with life until it happens. I am looking forward to getting a place of of my own and starting again. It's a bit daft really because he doesn't even spend a lot of time in the house and I barely see him. I don't know I just want out of this house but whilst I am paying the bills I am staying put.

It's not like nothing is happening we have started getting the odd jobs done, it's just not happening quick enough for me. I am off work most of next week and then the full week after that, I am hoping to have started the ball rolling to get the house on the market by the time I go back to work. 

I'm just finding everything quite difficult just now. The day time is fine but when it gets to late evening I start to get lonely and I find myself thinking I need to phone Graham and tell him it's time to come home, then I realise that I don't get to do that anymore. If he wants to be out that's up to him he has no responsibility to come and spend time with me anymore. 

I wish I was the sort of person that had at least a few girl friends around me that I could turn to but I just don't. It's hard to think I don't have any real friends anymore. Oh god how sorry for myself do I sound? I don't it would just be nice to have some real friends sometimes. I mean the cats are a great comfort but they don't talk back!

I'm sure I will get myself out of this rut eventually. I just needed a little rant. I just need to focus on the positive parts of my life right now. I have a supportive family, I am finally enjoying a job, and of course I have the best cats in the world.

I'm just going to try and keep on smiling.

Julz xx

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