If you are a regular reader you will know I really struggle with my weight and I have a seriously unhealthy relationship with food.
Every now and again I go through a phase where enough is enough and I need to do something to lose weight and be more healthy.
THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES!!
Towards the end of last year I started losing a bit of weight and I really wasn't trying to. It was amazing, but like everything it didn't last. I haven't piled the pounds back on so far, but I'm not losing anymore and I definitely haven't lost anywhere near as much as I need to.
My diet has started getting silly again as well. It's all to easy to pick the junk food when you work in food retail and have no routine with your meals.
I can't do it anymore though, not only do I hate the way I look just now, but I feel like crap. Genuinely I end up feeling ill sometimes, probably because of the guilt of eating something I shouldn't.
I know I will never be thin but I want to be healthy.
So over the last few days I have been cutting the crap out of my diet. I'm not going to totally deprive myself but on a day to day basis I can't be eating junk food. I'm not totally sure how I'm going to do it. Maybe I will say instead of a chocolate bar a day I have one a week. Then I can still look forward to it and not think about how much I can't have it.
So far it's not bothering me too much I'm just trying to replace crisps and chocolate with fruit or healthier alternatives.
I'm also trying to get in three good meals a day so that hopefully I don't get too hungry in between times. It definitely doesn't bother me as much when I'm working but when I'm home alone all I want to do is eat.
Not gonna lie though I probably feel worse now than I did. I guess it's just my body getting used to a different kind of diet and in time it will get better.
Wish me luck at sticking to it this time :)