I talk about wanting to make every day count and getting out and doing things. I talk about wanting to make decisions about what I want to do with my life, but here we are almost half way through another year and nothing has changed.
Why am I so scared to take risks and try something new. I'm too comfortable in my little bubble. Just me and my cats.
I'm stuck in a rut and I can't see a way out. That's probably why I haven't been writing recently either. My inspiration is at an all time low.
I'm not even sure where I am going with this post, I just felt like writing...so I am.
Oh I am just so incredibly fed up. It was a beautiful day yesterday, when I was off, but I sat indoors all day. Despite the pollen count supposedly being low I was seriously suffering with my hay fever and just felt like crap.
I'm getting so bad for only leaving the house when I am working, it is silly. I want to go out and do things but something is stopping me.
I am getting to the crying for no reason stage now as well.
I have suffered depression before so I know that is what this is, but I don't want to deal with it by going to the Dr and getting some pills. Yes they would help for a while but long term this isn't going to go away until I make changes and am happy with my life.
I think one thing I find hard is I have no routine in my life at all because I work different shifts every day. So I have started to organise the time when I'm not working so I don't just come home and sit on my bum and do nothing. I'm not going crazy organising every minute or anything but I am planning out my chores for the week, otherwise I leave them all until my day off and that's all I end up doing. This way I will have minimal chores to do on my day off and no excuse to stay indoors all day.
It might work it might not but I can only try I suppose.
Baby steps I guess, one thing at a time.